Best laugh I’ve had in ages, really.

1. Puked on his father’s shoulder while being burped.
2. Messed up 2 changing table covers in as many hours.
3. Had his first Dark Side of the Moon experience since leaving the womb.

Everyone needs to evacuate? How convenient! Now nobody will see when the military moves in to simulate the damage of a hurricane by ripping the roofs off houses, tearing down power cables, etc.

Of course, when everyone returns, Bush will declare a state of emergency, and help out all these poor folks who lost their homes, ensuring that he gets their vote!

Oh, and the name? Clearly the weather service is in on it too. Hurricane Frances – not “Francis”, you’ll note. Those bloody French are attacking Florida!

I’m astonished this blatent conspiracy has been allowed to go this far without anyone challenging it. Look at the news! No-one else has even mentioned it! This notable silence proves that the media is in on the conspiracy as well.

Absolutely shocking, I tell you.

Thank you for using James’ Weather-o-matic!

Thanks for the link :)

Here are a few choice quotes from the messages right now:

It’s bad here in Fremont. I mean Donner Party bad, not Michael Jackson bad. I just saw my neighbor cut open his dog and put his baby inside for warmth. I think there will be mob rule soon.

Posted by: Ricky at January 6, 2004 10:48 AM

—–

White stuff all over me, in my hair, face, even my boo_bs. Whait a minute! It not snow, it’s someone’s jizz!!!!

Posted by: Carly at January 6, 2004 10:57 AM

—–

It’s snowing harder than Ally Sheedy’s hair in the Breakfast Club.

Posted by: Anthony M. Hall at January 6, 2004 11:02 AM

“My parents just got back from a planet where the dominant life form had no bilateral symmetry and all I got was this stupid F-Shirt”

And, seen on a bumper sticker with a red background:

“If this sticker is blue, you’re driving too fast”

Amusing source:

root@devious:/home/compile/tpop3d-1.5.2# grep -A4 SNIDE_COMMENTS *.c
netloop.c:#ifndef NO_SNIDE_COMMENTS
netloop.c- connection_sendresponse(c, 0, _(”You can hang around all day if you like. I have better things to do.”));
netloop.c-#else
netloop.c- connection_sendresponse(c, 0, _(”Client has been idle for too long.”));
netloop.c-#endif
–
pop3.c:#ifndef NO_SNIDE_COMMENTS
pop3.c- connection_sendresponse(c, 0, _(”Tell me your name, knave!”));
pop3.c-#else
pop3.c- connection_sendresponse(c, 0, _(”USER command must be followed by a username.”));
pop3.c-#endif
–
pop3.c:#ifndef NO_SNIDE_COMMENTS
pop3.c- connection_sendresponse(c, 0, _(”This is ridiculous. I give up.”));
pop3.c-#else
pop3.c- connection_sendresponse(c, 0, _(”Too many authentication attempts.”));
pop3.c-#endif
–
pop3.c:#ifndef NO_SNIDE_COMMENTS
pop3.c- connection_sendresponse(c, 0, _(”Try again, but get it right next time.”));
pop3.c-#else
pop3.c- connection_sendresponse(c, 0, _(”Authentication string is invalid.”));
pop3.c-#endif
–
pop3.c:#ifndef NO_SNIDE_COMMENTS
pop3.c- connection_sendresponse(c, 0, _(”Clueless bunny!”));
pop3.c-#else
pop3.c- connection_sendresponse(c, 0, _(”Authentication failed.”));
pop3.c-#endif
–
pop3.c:#ifndef NO_SNIDE_COMMENTS
pop3.c- connection_sendresponse(c, 0, _(”This is ridiculous. I give up.”));
pop3.c-#else
pop3.c- connection_sendresponse(c, 0, _(”Too many authentication attempts.”));
pop3.c-#endif
–
pop3.c:#ifndef NO_SNIDE_COMMENTS
pop3.c- connection_sendresponse(c, 0, _(”Lies! Try again!”));
pop3.c-#else
pop3.c- connection_sendresponse(c, 0, _(”Authentication failed.”));
pop3.c-#endif
–
pop3.c:#ifndef NO_SNIDE_COMMENTS
pop3.c- connection_sendresponse(c, 1, _(”Fine. Be that way.”));
pop3.c-#else
pop3.c- connection_sendresponse(c, 1, _(”Done.”));
pop3.c-#endif
–
pop3.c:#ifndef NO_SNIDE_COMMENTS
pop3.c- connection_sendresponse(c, 0, _(”Do you actually know how to use this thing?”));
pop3.c-#else
pop3.c- connection_sendresponse(c, 0, _(”The command sent is invalid or unimplemented.”));
pop3.c-#endif
–
pop3.c:#ifndef NO_SNIDE_COMMENTS
pop3.c- connection_sendresponse(c, 0, _(”This is ridiculous. I give up.”));
pop3.c-#else
pop3.c- connection_sendresponse(c, 0, _(”Too many authentication attempts.”));
pop3.c-#endif
–
pop3.c:#ifndef NO_SNIDE_COMMENTS
pop3.c- connection_sendresponse(c, 0, _(”Lies! Try again!”));
pop3.c-#else
pop3.c- connection_sendresponse(c, 0, _(”Authentication failed.”));
pop3.c-#endif
–
pop3.c:#ifndef NO_SNIDE_COMMENTS
pop3.c- connection_sendresponse(c, 0, _(”Already, you have told me too much.”));
pop3.c-#else
pop3.c- connection_sendresponse(c, 0, _(”Too many arguments for command.”));
pop3.c-#endif
–
pop3.c:#ifndef NO_SNIDE_COMMENTS
pop3.c- connection_sendresponse(c, 0, _(”That does not compute.”));
pop3.c-#else
pop3.c- connection_sendresponse(c, 0, _(”Command argument should be numeric.”));
pop3.c-#endif
–
pop3.c:#ifndef NO_SNIDE_COMMENTS
pop3.c- connection_sendresponse(c, 0, _(”Can you actually count?”));
pop3.c-#else
pop3.c- connection_sendresponse(c, 0, _(”Command argument should be numeric.”));
pop3.c-#endif
–
pop3.c:#ifndef NO_SNIDE_COMMENTS
pop3.c- connection_sendresponse(c, 0, _(”It’s a bit late for that now, isn’t it?”));
pop3.c-#else
pop3.c- connection_sendresponse(c, 0, _(”STLS command available only in AUTHORIZATION stat”));
pop3.c-#endif
–
pop3.c:#ifndef NO_SNIDE_COMMENTS
pop3.c- connection_sendresponse(c, 0, _(”Do you actually know how to use this thing?”));
pop3.c-#else
pop3.c- connection_sendresponse(c, 0, _(”The command sent was invalid or unimplemented.”));
pop3.c-#endif